Clive Swift

He laments the loss of shorthand, but loves to make you laugh. It’s all good banter.

This interview originally appeared in DWM 391, published in January 2008.

Hello, Clive. I’m recording this interview on tape, if that’s okay.
“Don’t you know shorthand?”

It’s a dying art, isn’t it? I find that Dictaphones are more reliable in interview situations. I want to quote what you say accurately.
“A lot of actors won’t do interviews on tape.”

I’ve never noticed that, in almost a decade of doing this job.
“I’m an actor. As soon as you switched that thing on, I’m performing. I think you’ll find that proper journalists know shorthand.”

I think you’ll find that I’m not a proper journalist, then.
“Don’t be silly. I’m quite aggrieved. Why should I do this? I’m not getting paid, am I? [Awkward silence] Well, get on with it.”

Right. Could you tell me a bit about your character in Voyage of the Damned?
“You don’t need me to tell you that. Have you read the script? That’s what I perform. You can tell them about my character. What a silly question.”

To be honest, I just open interviews with that question to make the person feel comfortable, as it’s not too difficult to answer. It’s not working, is it?
“I don’t have anything to say.”

I’ll try another. What was your initial reaction to the script?
“Terrific.”

What qualities do you think make a script terrific?
“What would you say? I’m sure we can agree. What ingredients do you admire?”

Fun, fast, colourful scripts, but with proper emotion…
“On Doctor Who, this is? Well, I wouldn’t know, ’cause I don’t know any other Doctor Who scripts. But this chap Russell T Davies [showrunner] seems to be a phenomenon. He not only invents all these strange and wonderful creatures from God knows where, but he’s managed to get in a lot of humour. Unfortunately, it’s the Doctor who has most of the humour. Being a comic actor, I’ve missed not making a few jokes. However, one does one’s job.”

Mr Copper’s shaky grasp of Earth culture should get some laughs.
“Well, I’ve become a bit of an old fuddy-duddy, because it wasn’t until we’d been filming for two weeks that I realised that Mr Copper is an alien! I thought this rather naughty man, who’s a bit of a fool, belonged to the staff of the spaceship. It’s clever how they’ve got in all the trappings of the 1920s or whenever the Titanic was…”

It was in 1912.
“Okay, fine, even earlier. I thought, oh, well, if I’m an alien, should I have played the part in any different kind of way? Nobody said that. It dawned rather slowly. It’s quite sweet. Mr Copper is a very appealing character. He’s much older than the rest of the gang, but he’s brave, he’s useful in the fight against our enemies… um, and he’s rewarded in the end, so the writer likes him, and there’s no reason why I shouldn’t. When I did this 25 years ago [Clive appeared in 1985’s Revelation of the Daleks], it was a very different kettle of fish, although Jobel was a lovely part also. I had a very nice death, which I remember with pleasure.”

Have you always wanted to act?
“I’ve always wanted to perform, which is slightly different perhaps. Having reached this enormously old age, and having done a great deal professionally, I now feel able to be myself. I’m very happy talking as myself. I’ve got my own little cabaret show. Well, I say little, but I can do a whole evening. I do it with a young girl. I tell stories about my career. [Chats at length about his show.] I call it Richard Bucket Overflows, because I’m rather fed up with people just thinking of me as Richard from [1990s BBC sitcom] Keeping Up Appearances, which they quite often do.”

Do people shout ‘Richard’ at you in the street?
“Sometimes. I tell them to f*** off.”

Right. One final question…
“I think that’s more than enough, isn’t it? How many pages are you going to have on Mr Copper?”

Well, I was just going to ask…
“There’s no reason why I should talk to you at all, so you shouldn’t push it. I’m sure you’ll write something very nice. [Stony silence] I know that you all think that this is a big world, this Who business. But it isn’t. There are much bigger things than this.”

Maybe so. But this show does mean a huge amount to a great many of us.
“Yeah, yeah. Goodbye.”

Clive Swift was talking – and then not talking – to Benjamin Cook