THURSDAY 19TH APRIL
My Pottermore account’s been frozen! “It has come to our attention that your username ‘wizardprick’ violated our Community Guidelines.” WTF? (19/04/2012 22:35)
This is the shittiest thing to happen to me on the internet since I was banned from Mumsnet for “asking repeatedly about breast feeding”. :( (19/04/2012 22:57)
FRIDAY 20TH APRIL
When the moon hits your eye / Lupin’s boggart is nigh, Pottermoré! / When the world seems so queer / Have you downed Butterbeer? Pottermoré! (20/04/2012 10:01)
SUNDAY 22ND APRIL
In a toilet. In a club. (With @mrtinoforever @daddythathurts & @qbnaith) http://twitpic.com/9cm4q0 (22/04/2012 02:07)
WEDNESDAY 25TH APRIL
A #DoctorWho fan has made me out of Lego: http://flic.kr/p/bQzS1V Yup. #ThatHappened (25/04/2012 20:13)
FRIDAY 27TH APRIL
OMG YOU GUYS THE GOOGLE CANTEEN IS THE HAPPIEST, TASTIEST PLACE ON EARTH! THEY HAVE ALL THE FOODS! #nomnomnom (27/04/2012 14:02)
SO MANY DIFFERENT CAKES! GOT TWO SLICES! EVERYONE HERE IS LIKE “WE’RE TOTALLY COOL WITH THAT. WOULD YOU LIKE A BANANA FOR THE JOURNEY HOME?” (27/04/2012 14:09)
I HAVE A MASSIVE BANANA! WITH MY NAME ON IT! http://pic.twitter.com/ygMo1yQF THANK YOU, LORD GOOGLE! THANK YOU! I AM FOREVER YOUR HUMBLE SERVANT. (27/04/2012 14:32)
Spent the past 24 hrs with these beautiful people: @ciaranobrien @KaiPhoenix @edstockham @BarnabyEdwards @NicholasPegg @BriggsNicholas #ff (27/04/2012 15:12)
SATURDAY 28TH APRIL
(CC: @mrtinoforever) You know it’s been a good night when… http://twitpic.com/9elurh (28/04/2012 05:59)
SUNDAY 29TH APRIL
Overheard in unisex toilets… Cubicle 1 (female): “Will people stop pissing on the toilet seat?!” All the other cubicles (male): “NEVER!!!” (29/04/2012 01:48)
I’M GORGEOUS! (CC: @postcoitalslap @mrtinoforever) http://twitpic.com/9f10uj (29/04/2012 05:01)
TUESDAY 1ST MAY
Cinema & dinner with @ThatDyslexicGuy & @OllyNewport. We saw Being Elmo, a documentary film about Kevin Clash, the Elmo puppeteer. Amazing. (02/05/2012 00:10)
THURSDAY 3RD MAY
RT @JasonArnopp: “Breasts have served as a gateway drug for vaginas” is the best thing anyone’s written in some time: http://bit.ly/JlBNIo #pornpanic (03/05/2012 15:30)
Off to the press night of Mike Bartlett’s Love, Love, Love at the Royal Court, with @iamzackary. (Not a particularly funny tweet, but true.) (03/05/2012 17:05)
“We live in Reading. Something has gone wrong!” Love, Love, Love was sharp as a dart tonight. I give it 4/5. Well done, the Royal Court. (03/05/2012 23:29)
