SATURDAY 26TH MAY
#Eurovision party at mine with @mrtinoforever @eddplant @xFAWNx @HattiRex @_MsNixon_ @AwkwardTweeter @qbnaith @scottbalf @alreetsweeart etc. (26/05/2012 20:07)
Further arrivals: @tom_bacon @dollyoladini @lukespillane @tomwebsta. Still waiting for @Dan_Ev. As if anyone else cares. #Eurovision (26/05/2012 20:11)
Old Man Humperdinck is on first. Presumably because he needs to be back in the home by 9pm. #Eurovision #TheHump (26/05/2012 20:12)
This song is called “When the Music Dies”. She has missed the boat by just over an hour. #Eurovision (26/05/2012 21:02)
RT @lexcanroar: The possible collapse of the Euro makes this whole thing seem so dark and twisted. IF WE WEREN’T DANCING, WE’D BE CRYING #Eurovision (26/05/2012 21:19)
One day, I shall commit suicide to this song. #Eurovision (26/05/2012 21:21)
Sweet photo. RT @mrtinoforever: Party times with @benjamin_cook @awkwardtweeter & @postcoitalslap. http://bit.ly/O4Bkxp (27/05/2012 01:40)
Tonight is going well. Drowning our #Eurovision sorrows. Now @Chris_Kendall_ is here! http://twitpic.com/9pwl3d (27/05/2012 03:05)
THURSDAY 31ST MAY
RT @stuheritage: I hope the Leveson Inquiry webstream ends with a photo montage of everyone goofing around, set to “Together in Electric Dreams”. (31/05/2012 12:04)
In other news, my mate @scottbalf (whom Alex Kingston once promised to adopt: http://bit.ly/nPmYHT) has a new tattoo. http://twitpic.com/9r9hxu (31/05/2012 12:54)
SUNDAY 3RD JUNE
Switched onto BBC One to catch some of the #BBCJubilee Thames Pageant. A reporter was interviewing a dog on a narrowboat. I switched off. (03/06/2012 15:51)
BBC Reporter: “So nothing can go wrong?” Gatekeeper: “Keeping our fingers crossed.” Reporter: “CAN anything go wrong, though?” #BBCJubilee (03/06/2012 16:09)
I really should stop watching this batshit insane pageant. Fucking hell. Someone please send help. #BBCJubilee (03/06/2012 16:11)
“You wouldn’t want to crash with such a precious cargo, would you?” “It would not be high on my list of priorities, no.” Wow. #BBCJubilee (03/06/2012 16:32)
On #BBCJubilee, the commentators are getting desperate. “On days like this, at least you know that skin is waterproof.” *awkward silence* (03/06/2012 16:50)
TUESDAY 5TH JUNE
Some readers may find the following tweet disturbing… (05/06/2012 17:55)
I am quoted in today’s Daily Mail: http://bit.ly/Nf3D0e OUT, DAMNED SPOT! OUT, I SAY! #FeelsSick (HT: @MarkAyresRWS)(05/06/2012 17:55)
FRIDAY 8TH JUNE
“You probably wouldn’t rape me like you promised that you would…” @isabelfay‘s brilliant “Thank You Hater!” song: http://bit.ly/MmVOEb (08/06/2012 12:31)
“You wished me cancer, and misspelled ‘cancer’ / But I know that it’s a metaphor. You hope that I will grow / Just like the tumour…” (08/06/2012 12:31)
