Bernard Cribbins

The voice of the Wombles OD’ed on choccy biccies to stay awake through his night shoot on Voyage of the Damned…

This interview originally appeared in DWM 390, published in December 2007.

Hello, Bernard. This isn’t your first encounter with Doctor Who…
“I did a movie [Daleks: Invasion Earth 2150 AD] with Peter Cushing in 1966, and then not long ago I did a radio piece [Horror of Glam Rock] with Paul McGann, and now I’m doing something on TV, so I’ve covered all three mediums. I remember the movie being a load of fun. Peter was a really good Dr Who. He was rather sort of quaint and quirky. I got into trouble ’cause of the Daleks: I kept laughing when these little voices were coming out of them, ’cause they were just fellas inside. One of them had an Australian accent. Bob Jewell, I think his name was. He was the chief Dalek. [Adopts Aussie accent] ‘You will be exterminated!’”

I’m sure DWM readers would like to know how a household name like Bernard Cribbins spends a typical Christmas.
“There isn’t such a thing for actors. If you’re in the middle of a run in pantomime, Christmas is your day off. You just take it easy, eat too much, sleep and that’s it.”

Will you be watching Voyage of the Damned in the Cribbins household this year?
“I hope they’ll have sent me the DVD by then. If they haven’t, I shall ring ‘em up. [Chuckles] I play Wilf. He’s of the utmost importance to the plot. He’s a cockney newsvendor – a small part, that’s all, but very fruity.”

Some actors would turn down just one night’s filming and a handful of lines.
“They’re silly, then. There’s no such thing as small parts, only small actors. It’s a nice little part, and it’s in the Christmas Doctor Who – what more could you ask for?”

How do you keep your energy up on a night shoot?
“Drugs. A lot of drugs.”

What’s your drug of choice?
“Chocolate biscuits. That’s a very good drug. And cups of tea.”

Have you ever done drugs for real?
“No. They’ve never interested me at all.”

Not even legal ones? Alcohol? Nicotine? Glue?
“I used to drink, but I don’t anymore. I take no stimuli whatsoever now.”

How star-struck were you when you met Kylie, out of 10?
“Out of 10? You can’t do your job if you’re star-struck. You learn not to be. Kylie is super. [Doctor Who Confidential asks us to quieten down, because they’re filming another interview close by.] What? No! We started first, and we’re going to continue, so shut up.”

Ooh, well said.
“Yes, that told ‘em.”

You’ve provided Wilf’s costume yourself. Is this a BBC cost-cutting measure or…?
“It’s just my own raggedy clothes, really – entirely my own wardrobe. My own fishing mittens, my wife’s MacKenzie tartan scarf… the underpants I borrowed from [co-star] Clive Rowe, ’cause I came without any. I’m wearing them as a suit! The badge on my hat is my old regiment – I was a hairy-arsed paratrooper. I thought it’d be nice, since Wilf is obviously fond of the Queen, if he were an old soldier too.”

You’re 78. Do you still have ambitions?
“To keep working, I suppose. Most of the roles I’d like to have done have probably passed me by now. I’m too old. You just go on playing older and older people. But that’s the nice thing about the business: there’s no point in retiring.”

You could be the next James Bond, Bernard.
“No, no, I would never be James Bond. I’d be a good sidekick. I’d like to do a Western. I could be Clint Eastwood’s dad now, couldn’t I? Or his brother? Yes, I could be his slightly younger brother.”

Can you ride a horse?
“I can’t, so I’d be on the chuckwagon. Clive Rowe would be at the back, cooking – then eating it all.”

I feel like I should ask you some questions about amazing 70s TV show The Wombles, but you’re probably fed up of talking about it.
“The Wombles have sort of disappeared from my life now. It was a nice little job to have done, and people still stop me and ask about it, but that comes with the territory. It doesn’t bother me. It’s all right if people are polite or nice, which they are mostly. If they’re rude, I just tell them to piss off.”

Bernard Cribbins was talking to Benjamin Cook